On the Opportunity of Losing a Job, Maurice Sendak, and the Book That Told Me What I Want to Be When I Grow Up

My post-grad existence here in Poughkeepsie has been chugging along at a pace that some might describe as slow–at times, infuriatingly, depressingly slow. But through all the form email responses, the inevitable let-down follow up calls, the blind wandering through Craig’s List in the search of something that might give me a tad more satisfaction than asking how you like your steak cooked, I at least had the comfort of knowing that I was lucky to have a restaurant job, that I was good at it, and that that, at least, meant that I was doing my part to contribute to my little household, and to the economy at large.

Alas, no longer.

The restaurant and I have parted ways, and though I could go into the specifics and describe the unfair shock of being fired by the owner, in a blind rage, for advising another server to check into the legality of an issue that she was having with said owner, I won’t (at least, not anymore than I just did). Because in the end, getting fired from certain places can be a very good thing, and I won’t downplay the opportunity at hand by ranting.

Yes, I like making the monies. Yes, I need to make the monies. I have my part of the rent to pay, and both Sallie Mae and Direct Loans are poised to huff, puff, and blow down my door.

Don’t get me wrong, I am pretty stressed out about it in general.

But here’s the thing about working two jobs and an internship while still trying to keep sending out story submissions and applications for publishing and writing jobs, and stay on top of your own writing: you can’t.

You can’t do it all. I don’t know what Wonder Woman version of myself got through grad school for me, but she doesn’t live here anymore, and regular old Cate needs a break. She needs to re-group, to see her boyfriend before 9 o’clock of an evening (which never happened while she was employed at the restaurant), and she needs to think seriously about what she really wants to be when she grows up.